The Vision & The Vow: Honesty & Tears by Carla Trundle

Published: January 7th, 2005

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"I've spent the last week rushing to finish everything I'm currently reading so I could start and give my full attention to Pete Greig's latest book The Vision & The Vow." writes Carla Trundle (left).  "I've been antipating reading this for probably about a year and getting hold of a copy has coincided with growing hunger for something more...
I've been disappointed in myself, in my respect for God, in my love for Jesus, in my understanding of the Bible, in the compromises I make.  2004 was a year of seeking God in a dry place.  I made steps forward, my Father was gracious but the further I walked with him the more I hungered.  I wanted to be sure that when I will hear "Well done my good and faithful servant".  I want to learn to love truly, serve in reality; not just talk a good game.
 
I bit back all the 'correct' answers and realised that I was asking myself similar questions...  Am I really living for God?
Last night, before attending my cell group, I was talking to a friend.  What she was expressing was quite similar and as we were talking I bit back all the 'correct' answers and realised that I was asking myself similar questions...  Am I really living for God?  Do I know what it means to be in love with
Jesus, to have a real relationship with him?  I'm coming back to the root, to the source, putting aside the trappings and refocusing on the one who motivates.
 
I practically dove into bed after cell to start the book and as I read I was really challenged.  A couple of chapters into the second part of the book (The Vow) Pete takes you through a meditation on Jesus and how much you love him...  I was floored.  I read with tears damping my pillow and felt something in me start to come alive with honesty.  At about 1.30am I got out of bed and knelt on the floor to talk to Jesus.  In weakness I want to learn, to be shaped, to be changed, to move forward, to fall in love...
 
This morning I opened Oswald Chambers My Utmost for His Highest and the title for today was Intimacy with Jesus...
 
"Have I been so long a time with you, and yet hast thou not known me?"  John 14:9"
 

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