Accepting Acceptance by Barry Hall

Published: November 18th, 2005

Staff writer Barry Hall takes an honest look at how our ability to receive God's acceptance affects our prayer life.
 
When it comes to prayer, look for me in aisle 10 beating myself up about not praying enough. Or maybe I’ll be taking a jog and thinking about how a really effective Christian would combine his running time and prayer, disciplining the body and engaging with God simultaneously. In the bookstore, I’m the guy in the ‘prayer’ section wondering whether God could actually get more of me if I read a book – or all these books – or whether I am just kidding myself again.
 
Why do I fret so hard about prayer? I must have been through this maze a million times now. Exhausted, I ask Jesus, ‘where is this light yoke, anyways?’
 
Then, out of the blue, I have a morning like this:
Taking those few steps from the car to my office, I hear the sound of my feet scraping pebbles over asphalt. My hand feels the silver door handle, smooth and cold to the touch, that will take me into the lobby of the building. Like usual, I’ve got a song on my lips and a thought in my mind. Today it’s Pat Green and I’m thinking about old friends I love – and miss. It’s the people I usually think of when I sing country music: relationships that went funny when Jesus happened to me.
 
The sadness starts to come again when, like a gust of wind, I am accidentally alive in the dimension of prayer. Without effort, planning, or strategy. I know God is listening to me, and. I know He likes me. He likes my friends that I am praying for, too. I sit down, turn on my computer, and consider how much better I am at prayer when I don’t plan it. 
 
Question: Does anyone else consistently create aggressive, unrealistic ‘seek God’ plans that call for hours of intercession, daunting scripture reading responsibilities, and regimented fasting? I do. Instead of just talking to Jesus, I often catch myself making a 'plan' for giving myself to Him. Instead of listening to Him and enjoying Him in the moment, and even if only for a moment, I bring Him a list of religious intentions.

"Instead of listening to Him and enjoying Him in the moment, I bring Him a list of religious intentions."

After years of frustration, I have learned my reason for acting like this. It’s all about the way I see myself before Jesus.
 
You see, for me, today's ultimate step of faith has nothing to do with moving to a country where I don’t speak the language. Nor does it have to do with preaching, discipline, strength, or perseverance. These are all good, holy, and admirable - and as a follower of Jesus, I accept that any of these may be the next lesson God will teach me through - but they are for another day.
"It's all about the way I see myself before Jesus."

Today, my quest is to trust in His acceptance of me in this moment and present myself to Him, with no impeccable track record of prayer and fasting, yet believing that He accepts me where I’m at.
 
Hebrews 4:16
"Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."
 
The only way forward has to do with accepting God’s feelings for us - accepting His acceptance. I love Him because He first loved me - and for no other reason – lest I give myself credit I don’t deserve.
 
Jesus said, "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for his sheep."
 
So, for any fellow pilgrims who take themselves way too seriously and give themselves too hard of a time, join me in this resolution:
 
-That we will pray from where we’re at, and never from where we think we should be;
 
-That we will acknowledge His loving-kindness as our only reason for ever praying in the first place, and, thereby
 
-That we will enter into prayer with hearts of thankfulness and acceptance rather than with minds focused on achievement.
 
From the place of intimacy, we pray with Jesus rather than for Jesus. And if intimacy is the doorway through which we step into true prayer, then the threshold of that door is our choice to take Jesus at His word – beleiving that He truly accepts us in our weakness and ingesting that truth as food for our soul.
 
Let’s believe Him, shall we, and allow Him that very prize He gave His life for: togetherness with us.
 
Barry Hall and his wife Charlotte moved to Chichester, England from Kansas City, Kansas to be a part of 24-7 Prayer. They both graduated from Baylor University in Waco, Texas. Between the both of them they love hiking to the trundle, writing stationery, Widespread Panic, and our dog Bella!!
Please email Barry here with feedback, questions...
 
 

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